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Juvenile and Youth LawCan a mom lock her kids in the house?

(self.legaladvice)

submitted by awkward_pigeon13

For some context I’m 16 and my mom has 9 kids ranging from 17-3 and all but 2 of us are homeschooled so most of the kids are home all day.

My mother recently put a deadbolt on all the doors leading outside, she’s a heavy smoker and wanted to be able to “get a break” without any of her kids coming outside to talk to her. I know ethically this isn’t okay, but I can’t find anything online about whether this is legal or not. I thought it might be against some sort of fire code maybe but I’m not sure.

And before anyone responds with my mom is abusive, I know trust me. I’m trying to get out and that’s partly why I ask this. Thanks for the help.

{edit} I forgot to include the state, I live in Virginia

{update-ish?} thanks for all the advice, now that I’m positive this is illegal I’m gonna try to get enough concrete evidence to report everything. All of us have safe places we can go in case she does loose custody. Again thank all of you so much and I’ll do my best to update with anything significant.

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[–]Happy-Fennel5 521 points522 points  (11 children)

It’s a fire safety issue. You can call CPS and make an anonymous report but I would also call the fire Marshall and see if they can do anything about it as well.

[–][deleted] 296 points297 points  (1 child)

That's definitely a fire code issue. It might also escalate to the level of abuse or neglect, considering her children are as young as three. If an emergency happened, they have no way to get out and there's no way they could let anyone in. She's a smoker, so she is at risk for chronic health issues. If she had a medical emergency while she was outside, she would be unable to get back inside to her children. It's definitely worth mentioning to some sort of authority. Call a fire Marshal and CPS.

Edit: words

[–]Horror-Newt108 165 points166 points  (0 children)

Illegal. It’s child neglect and possibly abuse because you cannot lock children into a home from which they cannot escape due to fire and similar issues. Your mom’s defense is that she’s still there, simply outside to get a smoke (eww).

I’m sorry you’re in this situation. If no adult has ever apologized to you for not treating you and your siblings correctly, then let me say now: I’m so sorry, on behalf of the world I’m sorry you and your siblings are bing raised this way.

Edit: as others say, please call Child Protective Services in Virginia at +18005527096https://www.dss.virginia.gov/abuse/

[–]B0lt5L0053 103 points104 points  (7 children)

NAL but a certified foster parent. Call your state or county’s child abuse hotline. It is anonymous; they will not tell your mother that you called. They are legally obligated to investigate.

Do NOT - I repeat - DO NOT tell your mother that you are doing this. Don’t tell anyone you are doing this. If she finds out it may give her time to “fix things” before a CPS investigator makes it out to your home. If that happens it will be much, much harder to get CPS to listen in the future.

[–]awkward_pigeon13[S] 72 points73 points  (6 children)

Since you’re a foster parent you might know this, all of my siblings and I have other biological parents who are all very capable. The reasons why our dads don’t have custody is complicated so I’ll spare you that but if I reported this and my siblings got pulled out of the home would they go to their father? My ex stepdad is the father of all the kids after me with exception of my 2 step siblings and I know he’s a fantastic capable father.

[–]heathercs34 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Yes, if CPS decides they need to be removed, family would be contacted first.

[–]B0lt5L0053 41 points42 points  (0 children)

So the social workers will always try to place children who are removed with family first. So long as he has room in his home, the financial capacity to care for them, and can pass a background check he’d qualify. If/when the investigators talk to you, make them aware of your siblings’ dad and pass on any contact info you have for him.

If you have a good relationship with him he may be able to take you as well if he has room and is willing. Technically he is your kin in the eyes of the foster care system.

[–]SKatieRo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes. I am also a foster parent in Virginia. Most of the time, the other parent gets custody.

[–][deleted] 186 points187 points  (3 children)

Call CPS, they will go the hard work for you!!! Call and tell them your concerns and they will investigate ❤️

[–]KismaiAesthetics 136 points137 points  (1 child)

A deadbolt is not per se a problem. Lots of doors have deadbolts.

A deadbolt that cannot be opened from the inside at all times is 100% a problem.

Superglue a key into the inside portion and then call CPS, in that order.

[–]rnegrey 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you recently started public school. You can tell a teacher this and any of your other concerns and they will report it, if you are nervous or unable to call CPS on your own. Any teacher you trust, but guidance counselors or administration like principal or assistant principals if you don't have a favorite.

Since you mentioned your credits didn't transfer you might be in summer school? If not please, call the hotline.

[–]roaringstar44 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Call your local fire department and ask. They are usually very concerned about proper entry/exit ways and can tell you the answer right away. If they are not allowed, they can also tell her to take them down if you don't think she'll listen to you.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Just out of curiosity, has your mother not considered that someone could easily lock everyone in for any number of malicious reasons? This is a horrible decision on her part and aside from the fire issues, poses a significant amount of other safety issues for the occupants of the house?

[–]awkward_pigeon13[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You know I tried to find a nice way to say this but honestly my mothers an idiot idk that’s all I got for you 😭

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (2 children)

This is 100% illegal in every jurisdiction in the US.

[–]Mighty-Osip 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I would like to see a link for this: I know in a few states (California and Indiana) double cylinder deadbolts are indeed illegal. Federal housing,(as I have been told by our housing director) it is also illegal on any rental property with federal housing subsidies. I have not, nor has our state governing body over locksmiths and access control/alarm technicians, have made a single mention of this to its members as a legal issue. (Alabama) I personally as a locksmith refuse to sell or install double cylinder deadbolts, as they are indeed devices that restrict egress, due to needing a special tool (aka key) to unlock. I would enjoy finding more information and data to inform customers and clients regarding these. Thank you in advance.

[–]Georgette_Wickums 3 points4 points  (0 children)

California

This varies by local jurisdiction

[–]Lyntx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Fire hazard. Maybe reach out to your local fire department.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Fire Dept, CPS, City Inspection, Home owners insurance, Police Dept. there’s a lot of people that would like to know about this. If this is the only egress to the domicile please unlock the door with the key, get superglue or epoxy, coat the key, then put the key into the deadbolt and break the head of the key off.

ALSO take pics and vid of dead bolt and her locking/unlocking it.

[–]SKatieRo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Totally illegal. I'm a foster parent in Virginia. Please call cps or the police for a welfare check. They are supposed to help families-- maybe your mom just needs help. :(

[–]Raterus_ 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Having worked with social services for over 20 years in VA, let me level with you. What you have is good, but it may not be enough for a judge to sign-offs for removal. This "problem" here is easily rectifiable by a stern conversation and a safety plan. You are probably going to need more, you need to prove a repeated pattern of neglect that endanger all the children in the home.

[–]awkward_pigeon13[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The biggest problem I have it that my moms rarely, if ever, physical anymore because she knows we’re old enough to know it’s wrong. But the emotional abuse and neglect is hard to prove. If I was able to get videos or something of how she treats us would that count against her? I have multiple videos and an over hour long voice memo of her screaming at me and my 13 year old sister, she even threatened to kick my sister out, but I’m afraid because it’s just words it won’t do anything and calling cps could make it worse.

[–]Raterus_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, Virginia is a single party consent state, so you can record any evidence so long as you, the single party consent. Yelling and threats will build on the case, but might still not be enough to warrant removal. Does she ever leave you home alone? That would definitely be neglectful, especially if the kids were wandering outside in dangerous conditions. Also, it's probably going to be obvious to your mom someone in the house reported her, unless you have really close neighbors, this can and will ruin the relationship and may escalate, unless you had some outside event to be reported.

[–]not_falling_down 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna try to get enough concrete evidence to report everything.

The existence of locks (especially newly installed locks) that cannot be opened from the inside is evidence enough. Call now

[–]serrabear1 4 points5 points  (1 child)

My mom used to lock me in my room with nothing but my bed for hours and would only unlock it when I needed to use the bathroom or it was dinner time (which I had to buy and prepare my own meals within a set time frame). If she left the house she’d lock the door and put tape across the door frame on the outside so she would know if I ever opened the door at all somehow. I reported this to my school and because I was 16 they told me to suck it up, I’d be able to leave soon on my own anyway.

No it’s not right. I have trauma over this shit. Call someone and don’t let it go please. Stay with a friend or Grandparents. Tell your school, maybe things have changed now.

[–]UsedToBeMyPlayground 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im sorry that happened to you.

[–]H1285 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Call CPS

[–]shebringsthesun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so deeply sorry you are experiencing this and I hope that you and your siblings are able to stay safe and get out of this situation as soon as possible. Thank you for being resourceful enough to think to come here to ask for advice.

[–]SatanOfTurtles 6 points7 points  (14 children)

What's important is can you open the deadbolt from the inside or is it locked from the outside? I'm assuming the way you worded it that you can't presumably open it from the inside without the key

[–]awkward_pigeon13[S] 17 points18 points  (13 children)

Nope we need a key to do so. technically we have access to the keys but because of where they’re stored they’re a pain to get a hold of and I worry what will happen in an emergency, especially because I go to public school so I’m not home all day like my siblings

[–]TodaysOpinion 7 points8 points  (12 children)

Can more siblings choose to go to public school, sounds like being home all say with kids isnlt working well for her

[–]awkward_pigeon13[S] 24 points25 points  (11 children)

That’s the thing, she works 8-5 she’s not even home with us all day. She doesn’t allow us to go to public school until high school, and that’s only because I fought tooth and nail to go at the beginning of my sophomore year. The only other kid in public school is my 12 year old step brother, but that’s only because his dad gave him the choice and my moms not happy that we go to public school.

[–]fileknotfound 19 points20 points  (2 children)

So there’s no adult at home from 8-5 every day with the little kids? Just the bigger kids watching the little ones? Definitely call CPS.

[–]awkward_pigeon13[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Pretty much but it’s not technically illegal so

[–]throawaymcdumbface 4 points5 points  (6 children)

What does the homeschooling consist of?

[–]awkward_pigeon13[S] 20 points21 points  (5 children)

They do it through acellus, which if you don’t know what that is it’s basically they watch videos on a tablet all day. I don’t know much about the credentials but I know when I transferred to public school none of my credits could be accepted so I had to redo all of 9th grade and take summer classes to graduate on time.

[–]throawaymcdumbface 6 points7 points  (4 children)

So I'll let someone more knowledgeable in homeschooling weigh in but "watch the homeschooling program videos" isn't sufficient on its own, does she have them do any kind of coursework? What does her involvement in their education look like beyond giving them the tablet?

[–]awkward_pigeon13[S] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Quiet literally no involvement at all. Most of us are constantly struggling in at least one subject, I do my best to help them where I can, but they have nothing apart from watch the videos and take the quizzes that are on the program.

[–]throawaymcdumbface 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeeaaah I'd let CPS know this as well. :(

[–]CryptographerOk419 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Homeschooling laws vary state to state. Some states have no involvement, some require a portfolio to be kept and evaluated, some require testing, etc.

[–]throawaymcdumbface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OPs state is Virginia, I think? If that helps narrow it down.

[–]pinkfluffyaardvark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can see you have had the advise you need so I just wanted to add that I'm so sorry you are going through this but you seem like a very mature, level-headed person and your siblings are lucky to have you. I hope things fall out the way you need them to.

[–]thehumanbaconater 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Is there another way out in case of emergency? Is she there and would be able to hear you if there’s an emergency?

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[deleted]

    [–]emsyk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Soem deadbolts require a key to unlock. If this is the case, it's a fire hazard because it means she took the key outside with her, and the kids can't unlock it.

    [–]SatanOfTurtles 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Ah no this is child abuse. Locking your children inside of a house to go smoke a cigarette and not be bothered is ABUSE.

    If she wanted to be able to have alone time maybe she shouldn't have had NINE kids. She made her decision to home school her kids and then she made a decision to lock her kids in a house because now she has no alone time from seven kids if two go to school.

    This is literally the consequences of her OWN actions and she is now abusing her children by leaving them alone locked away out of sight and they won't be able to get out.

    What if she has a stroke on the front porch and dies? What if the house catches fire while she decided "might as well pop over to the gas station up the block to get a new carton?" What if one of the kids have an emergency like a peanut allergy and she can't get to him fast enough because she has to fumble the lock on the doors and no one can get him out?

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    Umm if you read, she put a lock that’s only open from the outside

    [–]Maltaii 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    Reading comprehension is key. No, the OP didn’t say that at all. It says the deadbolt is placed on all doors leading outside. Not from the outside.

    [–]awkward_pigeon13[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Sorry if I didn’t make it clear, the deadbolts are faced so we can’t unlock them from the inside without a key

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

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